things you would never hear a redneck say...

Janelle and Josh sent this to me - not sure who came up with this list but it is very funny - except I don't get the one about the Little Debbie snack cakes!(just kidding)


Things you would *never* hear a redneck say...

Alex, I'll take Shakespeare for 1000.

Duct tape won't fix that.

Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?

You can't feed that to the dog.

I thought Graceland was tacky.

No kids in the back of the pick-up - it's not safe.

Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

Wrasslin's fake.

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

We're vegetarians.

Do you think my hair is too big?

I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

We don't keep firearms in this house.

Honey, these bonsai trees need watering.

Who's Richard Petty?

Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

Deer heads detract from the decor.

Spitting is such a nasty habit.

I just couldn't find a thing at the flea market today.

Trim the fat off that steak.

Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

The tires on that truck are too big.

I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

I've got it all on my USB flash drive.

Unsweetened tea tastes better.

Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.

My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

Little Debbie snack cakes have way too many fat grams.

Honey, we don't need another dog.

I don't have a favorite college team.

Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

Checkmate.

Don't you just love opera?!

Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Daisy Mae.

Elvis who?

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